i'm darkness and light, bubbles and faerie wings. i am sparkles and glitter, shadows and clouds. i love purple, and faeries, and books, and music.

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cast me gently into morning, for the night has been unkind

comfort music – for me it’s sarah mclachlan. it always has been, ever since the tender age of 14. now of course, i have many more albums to chose from.

problem with having sarah as my comfort goddess is that her songs are rather, um, slow. the number of fast paced songs she has i can count on one hand and have fingers left over. i had all her albums on shuffle this morning on my ipod. i think i added 5 minutes to my walk from home to the metro. ha! in the mornings i need to keep fast paced music going or i walk slower than a turtle.

but i feel much more relaxed and content now. even if i am in danger of falling asleep at my desk. but sarah came though like always and helped me regain some of myself.

makes me wonder if anyone else has that one artist or album that they turn to when things go sour or are happy. you know, what is your comfort music?

seriously, this isn’t really funny anymore

i am going to be late for work but at this point, i just don’t care.

i did manage to get some sleep last night… i fell asleep at about 9:30 and then woke up a little after one in the morning. after that i was awake until almost six when i fell back asleep. i extremely hate falling asleep so close to when i have to get up. odd thing was i was deciding on whether or not to stay in bed or just say “fuck it” and get up and then the next thing i knew my alarm was going off. damn. missed that window. *grin*

i’m getting pretty tired of this not sleeping thing. if it was stress or anxiety my head would be filled with noise – song lyrics, innervoise going over what i was worried about. but it hasn’t been like that this time. so i’m not sure what’s going on. maybe the weather? it’s been damp and humid with all this rain we’re getting. i don’t know.

and because of my zombified state, i have not kept up with my blogroll duties. i have not gone to visit everyone and read and comment. i also haven’t been keeping up with my comments either. and for this i apologize. i promise i’ll catch up once i start to feel more myself.

to top it off i thought it was friday today and got all excited that i could sleep in tomorrow (if i was able to sleep) since it seems that my prime sleeping time starts just before six in the morning. but it’s not. it’s thursday tomorrow and i actually have to go to work. and people will be off so i won’t be able to hide at my desk all day and do nothing. ah, well. it is work. i suppose i should do some, but this week just seems like such a write-off.

i’ll try ending this post with a happier smiley than i have normally been doing. maybe that will help? emoticon

close enough. heh.

listen you socially retarded janitor

don’t you EVER fucking stand inbetween my co-worker and i with your mop and impatiently sigh because we haven’t moved out of your way. you have vocal chords – use them. try saying “excuse moi” or something and maybe we’ll move out of your way.

do NOT just stand there and expect us to move if we’re working – which we were – and just bow down before you, you asswipe.

there are reasons people do not talk to you. you are racist, you look and act like a serial killer, you are a seperatist bastard who hates the english and you are fucking RUDE, dude! rude!

we will talk and converse with all the other maintenance staff in this store but you. why? because they are friendly and nice and for the most part, polite. they do not just stand behind someone until they move in order to mop or sweep or collect the trash. they wait until we’re finished working on something and then they say “excuse me”. like normal humans.

not like social retards like you. emoticon

still…nothing

i have been sitting here, trying to stay awake and trying to think of something other than “oh, pooooor me! i’m soooo tired and have nothing to write” to write about.

i can’t think of a thing. not a one. darn.

i thought, ha! wouldn’t it be great to just spend my work day posting random, witty things on my blog! but i have nothing witty. nor random.

but for ian, i shall type this entire paragraph in green, because he asked me to, and well.. i like him. he’s funny. i suppose i could follow the current trend of internet love & hate lists. but i can’t think of anything to add to those lists. my brain hurts. and i suck at lists like that.

i’ll think of something though. it’s just going to take me a while and i think it will hurt. a lot.

this is going to be a looooong day. emoticon

46.5 hours

that is how long i have been awake.

wow. i feel like crap.

i did manage to fall asleep at 6:00am this morning. that would have been fine IF i didn’t get woken up at 7:30 by my alarm.

and this was after taking TWO sleeping pills last night at 10:00 pm. they didn’t even help. i was so manic yesterday i mopped, i put a little fence up around my flower bed, i walked to the store to buy those stupid non-working pills and some other stuff.

and yet, still no sleep for me.

sigh emoticon