i'm darkness and light, bubbles and faerie wings.
i am sparkles and glitter, shadows and clouds.
i love purple, and faeries, and books, and music.

Ramblings by Category

Ramblings by Year

all in good time

Ok so every year there seems to be some new meme thing out there for a wrap-up of the entire year. In 2005 I answered random questions, in 2006 I modified one where I was supposed to just write the first line of each first post of the month. I think I liked what I did last year, so I will continue with that version. I will start each month with the first line of the first post and then I will add other important things that happened that month.

January (39 posts) : It’s getting harder and harder to remember the time when I actually cared about New Year’s Eve. [so true, I still feel this way]

  • turned 31, which to be honest I don’t really remember happening. When asked how old I am, I still say 30. It’s sort of as if the entire year in my in-laws’ home never happened.
  • went house hunting twice, which resulted in finding our house (the last one we saw on the last time we went out).
  • Monkey came to visit for my birthday and I so desperately wished she would move back to Montreal (hey, my wish came true!)

February (32 posts) : It’s true! [vague enough?]

  • had my first ever MRI
  • health started getting really bad, really fast
  • Jinx turned 2
  • still living in my in-laws’ basement… but closer to having our own place!
  • my favourite Aunt was diagnosed with cancer (multiple myeloma)

March (22 posts) : We’re off to sign the deed for the house. [pretty self explanatory, huh? YAY!]

  • bought our house πŸ˜‰
  • Annie turned 9
  • Shawn turned 30
  • one year anniversary of the fire in Verdun, which in hindsight was a blessing in disguise
  • joined Facebook (hint, hint) and reconnected with a ton of people I missed.
  • got the keys to the house on the last day of the month!

April (24 posts) : So a bunch of years ago, when my lovely Dream Machine clock-radio died (I’d had it since the 5th grade, too) I was given this ’smart’ clock thing. [which is actually kinda cool]

  • moved into the house and out of the in-laws’ basement! w00ty w00t!
  • Marcel was the first visitor to the home and I made him breakfast
  • Monkey was the first over-night guest to the house and then decided to move back to Montreal and found an apartment in one day!

May (23 posts) : (Saturday evening photos will be up soon. I have a half-written draft post saved, I just ran out of time!)[I have so little time these days, sigh.]

  • Annabelly had surgery to remove what we thought was a tumor, but it turned out to be a cyst. Thank the doGs! πŸ™‚
  • my Aunt passed away from her battle with cancer, May 25. πŸ™
  • my father was diagnosed with cancer as well
  • seem to have posted a lot of photos of flowers. Heh. Won’t be doing that this coming year as all that has been dug up and covered in grass!

June (17 posts) : sick sick sick [sigh, such is the mantra of my life]

  • our 17-year old car died
  • my father had successful surgery to remove the tumor they found
  • we got our lovely new Dodge Caliber
  • got to see my Uncle after many, many years since he and his new family came to Montreal from BC for my Aunt’s memorial service.
  • Shawn started working the night shift, which went on for 13 bloody weeks!

July (9 posts – um, wow) : I cannot say that this has been a fantastic weekend. [when will we have a decent anniversary weekend, I wonder?]

  • first and foremost, posted the LEAST amount of posts I ever have in my life of having a blog. What the heck!?
  • Shawn had a fever of 102Β°F on our anniversary and had to work. Fun, fun!
  • saw Transformers and it was all sorts of awesome!
  • had a barium x-ray while on vacation
  • went to Granby Zoo with Shawn
  • met up with elementary school classmates for the first time in almost 20 years (thanks to Facebook)
  • Monkey moved back to Montreal! Yay!!
  • had fun at the Fireworks with Monkey and Shawn

August (16 posts) : If I had time, I swear I would post. [I am noticing a lack of time theme here…]

  • bought awesome red shoes, just like Monkey
  • Shawn still on nights at work
  • both dogs got sprayed by a SKUNK at 4 in the morning – ARGH!
  • yet another GI appointment canceled
  • started my book blog (which I desperately need to update… *cough*)

September (11 posts) : My iBook! [frustrates me even now, all these months later!]

  • thanks to the in-laws we’re sportin’ some comfy and fancy furniture in the living room!
  • booked my tickets for my trip to New Brunswick in October… which turned out to be a wash, but hey.
  • had my grandparents over for dinner for the first time in my new home
  • retook the Theory test for my learner’s permit… still haven’t practiced driving enough to do the practical.
  • Jill came to visit! Yay! And Jinx fell in love with her.

October ( 10) : Today is (Canadian) Thanks Giving. [whoopie! But at least it’s a day off, eh?]

  • finally had a test in the GI department, which of course didn’t show anything abnormal, but the doctor wouldn’t speak to me that day so I couldn’t tell him how bad things really were. Lovely.
  • went to New Brunswick to visit my cousins and ended up flying home halfway through due to serious health issues. Sigh.
  • Shawn quit his crappy job and started a new job where he actually gets vacation! Whee!
  • shower broke

November (18 posts) : Do they complain when their best hockey players can’t speak French and then make it a huge issue. [sometimes I hate living in Quebec]

  • yet ANOTHER GI appointment canceled. This time it was rescheduled to January 22. On the bright side, it’s now closer than it was in November. Health still hasn’t improved though.
  • discovered Ingrid Michaelson… probably one of the best albums I have ever listened to!
  • went to my BFF’s 6th birthday party and made a necklace πŸ™‚
  • after THREE bloody trips to the salon, finally had awesome hair!
  • due to the awesome Canadian dollar, we booked our Disney Vacation for February 2008 and it was cheap, cheap, cheap! Wheee!
  • caved in to peer pressure and used a hair straightener for the first time

December (19 posts, including this one) : What is it about the first of December that always excites me? [it’s true! it always does!]

  • celebrated our first Christmas in our new home!
  • made my first turkey dinner for friends
  • made my first roast dinner for family
  • had two snowstorms which dropped over 4 feet of snow on the ground (UGH!)
  • am ending the year happier than I ever had. I am so content with things right now I sort of don’t want 2008 to start because I’m afraid it won’t be as wonderful as 2007. It IS an even-numbered year, though I rather like the number 8, it always (for some unknown reason) reminded me of the moon and I love the moon. Who knows.

But yes, the year is over and I have learned a lot, and lived a lot and experienced a lot. I have read a crap-load of books (too many to talk about even! Hence the lack of updates on the book blog). I have strengthened friendships and made new ones. I have lived life to the fullest this past year and even though I have a ton of stupid health problems that are driving me batty, I have found that friends and family are the best support to get through the tough times.

I am wary of 2008, but also anxious to see what it holds for us – other than our Disney trip. πŸ˜‰

holiday wrap-up

So, before I go and ramble on in one of those End of the Year thingies, I thought I would give you a small run down of the rest of the week following Christmas. πŸ™‚

The night of December 25 Shawn and I went to Chateauguay to visit his parents and we got a lot of loot (more Tinker Bell stuff!). Shawn even got TWO Tinker Bell lip balms, which he kindly gave to me after finding them in his stocking. He also got a ton of his father’s shirts, too. I think my mother-in-law started getting confused in her wrapping (there was a TON of stuff, people and this was their idea of a small Christmas. Geez! :)) We of course made out like bandits all week. I like being a bandit sometimes. πŸ™‚

My father-in-law picks out awesome gifts all on his own. He got me this scarf, gloves and earmuff set to go with my awesome plaid bag and red hair. πŸ˜‰

It’s not Christmas unless Shawn and I take a silly photo. πŸ˜‰

On December 26th I had my family over for dinner. My first roast beast turned out splendidly if I do say so myself. Yum!

Again I had wanted to take a photo of the final product, but there was so much going on by then I forgot. I was much happier with my roast than my turkey, though I didn’t hate my turkey. And it’s pretty much impossible to mess up roast if I just stick to my family’s tradition of getting the same piece of meat and then dousing it with Bovril and then you stick it in the oven at 3:00 and take it out at 5:00. πŸ˜‰

I have to say I had a great time for this dinner. It meant so much for me to have my grandparents (and parents!) over for Christmas at MY house. It might just be my only memory of them at my house for Christmas, but it’s a great one and I will post the group shot that my father took once he sends it to me (or puts it online so I can steal it. Heehee!). This was the 31st Christmas I spent with my grandparents and I don’t think a lot of people can say they’ve done that (well, with their own Grandparents anyhow, I KNOW that it wasn’t with mine!). It was nice to make my mother and grandmother dinner for a change. πŸ™‚ And I was thankful that both my father and mother helped me out at the end with the gravy (my gravy turned out awesome!) and veggies, etc. I think this one dinner meant the most to me out of everything that week.

On December 27th I got to see Jill again! Whee! I think I have seen her more in the last 12 months than I have in the last 12 years. HA!

Yes, all our photos look alike. So what? (see? and see?) We’re wearing different things you know. πŸ˜‰ Last year I saw Jill on the 27th as well (hey, what a coincidence!) and I was VERY envious of the slippers she had gotten as a gift that year… well! I am now the proud owner of the slippers which she brought all the way from California for me! YAY!! (Um… wow. I tend to ONLY see Jill on the 27th of a month, because I saw her September 27th as well. Wow! 0_o)

Jill also kindly, accidentally left a PS2 microphone here too since she seems to have three at home now. This also means I now have two! Yay! If I can ever find anyone other than Jill to come play my Karaoke Revolution PS2 games with me I can do the duet challenges with them. Wooty woot!

She also brought me the best cupcake ever!

Is that not just the cutest candle? I kept the candle, though the poor snowman’s head is slightly melted. Hee.

And though I kick myself for not remembering to take a photo, I got to see Marcel on December 29th in the late morning. I made him grilled cheese and got to talk to him. My in-laws’ were also over so my MiL hung out with Marcel and I while my FiL and Shawn worked on the shower. I would like to say how happy I am to have a working shower again! But back to Marcel… he’s in his final stretch at Med school in Calgary and the fact that he made some time to come visit me in his one week of holiday in Montreal means the world to me. I told my MiL just this when he left – most of my most important and solid friendships were made in my first years at the bookstore. Monkey, Young Anthony and Marcel are up there as some of the people who mean the most to me and with whom I am so thankful to have lasting friendships with.

The 29th was also my Mummy’s birthday and of course I have been so confused with what day it is this week that I only remembered while they were at Church and so left my little birthday song message for her while I remembered. Oops. I thought we were still the 28th. Ah, well.

And other than all that (which was a LOT) Shawn and I have now completed Season 1 of NCIS. The thing I have taken away from that is that I HAVE to be Abby. I have to. It is eating at me. I need to know where I can get rings like her and this awesome star necklace she often wears. It is almost tempting me to work on trying to put make-up on my eyes. I feel this deep desire to try and get my eye liner on properly. Ugh. I’ll see about that… πŸ˜‰ Though I think I’d make a cute semi-goth. Except I don’t think that cute is quite the adjective Goth’s are striving for…

Oh! And today, December 31st, UPS brought our Magical Express package and luggage vouchers. woohoo! In the next couple of weeks we’ll receive our tickets and luggage tags. 39 days, baby!

10 years ago today

On December 27, 1997 I moved out of my home and out on my own (well, with my girlfriend at the time) and started a new life. I always joked that it was a late Christmas gift for my father and an early birthday gift for my Mum (Dec 29). My parents didn’t think I’d last two weeks, and to be honest, neither did I. I was prone to major anxiety attacks if I slept anywhere other than in my room, in my bed and without anyone else in the room. Really bad anxiety attacks. I was diagnosed with Panic Disorder and was given medication which helped a little, but not all the time (along with other things). If it weren’t for Miriam I have no idea when I would have ever left the shelter of my childhood home.

Things weren’t the easiest for me back then and it was hard to branch out onto my own for the first time and rely on myself and my ideas and not always follow what my parents wanted me to do. It was very hard at first and for a while I really didn’t even want to see my parents for a long time. There were so many emotional wounds that needed to be healed and so much stress in those days. My depression didn’t help and I desperately needed to figure out who I was and what I wanted to do with my life.

Miriam was a huge help and support, despite all our various downs and ups. I owe her a huge credit for who and where I am now.

We moved out just in time for the Ice Storm of ’98. Great. Our first apartment was a slum, though we didn’t quite realize it at the time. And ironically, when the entire Montreal and area lost power and were freezing to death with ice and storms, our building didn’t lose power and we weren’t even able to control our own heat (the entire building was regulated) and so we had the windows open and were in shorts and tank tops while the rest of the city suffered.

We lasted until the end of that summer when some creepy guy had been evicted and then came back that night and tried to burn the place down. At 3:00 am in the middle of the street in our pjs we thought we needed to find a new place to live for our health and safety.

It was a year of firsts for me, including starting to learn about myself. Ten years later I think I have a handle on who I am and what I want out of life and think I have learned to accept who I am and am happy.

February will be 5 years since I stopped taking my anti-depressants and stuffs. That was also the time I got Annie and had my appendix out, so maybe they’re the reason my depression and serious (serious!) problems just suddenly went away and got better. Maybe it’s also because of Shawn.

But I know it’s also because of all the inner soul searching and listening to my gut feelings that I did and the work I did trying to rebuild myself and discover myself.

I survived. I’ve survived A LOT in the last 10 year. And yet, here I am. Married, two dogs, house and a car (which I still can’t really drive *cough*). I have a decent job (the people are awesome, even though I hate the work) and am closer with my parents than I ever was (although I did always tell my mother everything, she was and always will be my original BFF ;)) and though I know some dreams will never come true, I am happy with where I am now.

our merry little christmas

You know, for the amount of stuff I have been doing, the number of people I have been seeing, I do not feel that traditional stress that I normally do by this time. Strangely, I feel like Christmas hasn’t even happened yet even though I have made a turkey, had Monkey and Ravi over, wrapped gifts with no wrapping stuff left, been to my sister’s for 9AM today, had our Christmas after that and then drove to the in-laws’ for Christmas there and will have my parents and grandparents over tomorrow, when I will be making a roast and still have to bake the pie and cookies.

And yet, no stress. Just exhaustion. πŸ˜‰

Here’s some of today in photos!

Tree with loot! πŸ™‚

What amuses me about this photo is the look on Jinx’s face in the background. Hee! He was busy chewing on a bone from Santa.

See? See what I got? Hee! Tinker Bell Spa set. πŸ˜‰

Awesome Snoopy PJs that go very well with my lovely Christmas shirt.

Not that I have been hinting at this one since, like, October or anything. Winter Tinker Bell – to match the one Shawn got me last year for my birthday (which you can see here and here)!

Awesome purple Tink PJs, which fit over the snoopy ones which fit over my Christmas shirt, all in the house that Jack built! (my in-laws got me cook pink Tink PJs as well. ;))

Pretty Hallmark faerie that my sister got me.

Does anyone else sense a theme here?

Have a very Faerie Christmas!

Doggy stockings filled with loot!

Doggy loot!

Christmas Annie-looking-squeaky toy! Fat, round and black and it makes a sort of farting noise. Just like Annie! This is Jinx’s toy. πŸ˜‰

I also got the first four seasons of NCIS. Yay! Now Shawn and I have something to watch this week (and next, and so on).

It was a very merry Christmas indeed!

cards!! (thank you!)

Thank you SO much to those of you who helped me fullfill my wish of adorning my home with a plethora of Christmas cards! One day I had SIX in the mail! And on Christmas Eve I had another 5! Wheee! (Cindy’s made it in just under the wire today! :))

I love you all!

(That llama card? It’s the best card ever! And from Monkey… ironically, the monkey card is from Cindy-Lou ;))