i'm darkness and light, bubbles and faerie wings. i am sparkles and glitter, shadows and clouds. i love purple, and faeries, and books, and music.

Ramblings by Category

Ramblings by Year

i wonder

How often, do you think, is too often to break down crying at work?

frustration

Why is it that the font that I so desperately want on my PC seems to be on my Mac (ITC Humana Sans), but the font that I wanted to show up on my Mac only seems to be on the PC (Tempus Sans ITC).

ARGH!

I really want the ITC Humana one, too… but I refuse to pay $36 or UP for that. Grrrr.

i have the best parents ever

You might think your parents are ok and I am sure they are, but mine are the best! 🙂

I am sitting here debating whether or not to have birthday cake or a roast beef sandwich for breakfast. I am so torn. So far I have had nothing because I can’t decided what I want to have. And yes, it’s just after 8:30 in the morning, so?

We went over to my parents’ place for my birthday dinner last night. There was roast and cake and it was scrumptious! I have a ton of leftovers and I am so happy! I am also happy that my parents are wonderful and fun and that I finally (after all those teen years and whatnot) enjoy spending time with them. Heh.

My Dad and I are closer now that I am older than when I was well, younger. I was (and actually still am ;)) a Mummy’s Girl. My Dad would take me on Nowhere Rides when I was smaller, in our little Datsun something or other car we called the Putt-Putt. We’d get in the car and my dad would just drive and drive and I would ask where we were going and he’d say “Nowhere. We’ll let the car decide.” I loved those rides. We’d end up in magical places like newly discovered playgrounds (that I now know were like, one town over and only a few minutes away, but we would drive for so long it felt like we’d ended up someplace far away and magical!) and one of my favourite places to end up were the locks by the Victoria Bridge to watch all the big ships come passing through (I now drive over this bridge on a daily basis to get to and from work and I still get excited when the ships are there, except of course when they stop traffic because we have to be routed to the other side of the locks to pass…). My Dad went on a handful of business trips when I was a kid and it was always exciting when he came back and my sister and I would get gifts (ha!). The one I remember most was a Strawberry Shortcake cat stuffed animal. My sister got the dog. I loved that kitty, it smelled so good! My Dad introduced me to music and computers and BBSing and church choir. I always loved singing with him. My Dad has always been there to bail me out when I was in trouble (not in jail, not that kind of bail.. I have never been in jail!). He’s always been supportive and tough when he needed to be. He’s always had good advice and not so good advice ;). I love him very much and I am glad that out of all the Dads in this world I ended up with him. 😀

My Mummy has always been my original BFF. When I had trouble with friends as a kid, my Mum was always there to hold my hand, give me a hug and let me vent my frustrations out at her. I took a lot out on the poor woman, and though it really did help in the long run, I feel bad for having put her through as much as I did. Having a daughter who was always sad, depressed, picked on and sick isn’t easy. But she was always there for me. A constant. Someone I could always count on. I always told my mother everything, I have never kept secrets from her (not for long anyhow ;)). She’s been my sounding board and my emotional mirror and one of the most influential people in my life. I love my Mummy more and more each day.

It took a while for me to appreciate my parents as much as I do now. I always loved them and cherished them, but once I hit my early 20s the stress and anxiety levels in the house were WAAAAY up there. It’s always hard with parents and kids when the kids start to make their own decisions and mistakes and branch out on their own. It took me a few years of living on my own before I wanted to visit them before I wanted to talk to my mother on more than a 2-month or so basis. 🙂 Having moved to where I moved last April wouldn’t have even been a blip on my mind 10 years ago. I needed water between me and them, sort of like a moat.

Now? Now I am thrilled to be living closer so that I can see them more regularly. My mum and I talk on the phone at least twice a week most weeks and I want that. I enjoy that.

My parents never outright spoiled me, but they did spoil me. I was spoiled with love and support (even when it was hard) and I was spoiled by little things – home cooked meals, vacations, my mother staying home with her two girls until we were in high school.

They taught me to be honest and polite. To be modest and caring. They taught me to think for myself and to trust in myself. The core of who I am today is because of the morals and values they instilled in me. They are kind and loving.

And I love them for that. I thank them for that.

I think I turned out kinda ok.

* this was started Saturday morning at 8:30 am, though life sort of got in the way and I had to work all of Sunday, therefore it’s only being posted at 9:45 pm Sunday night. 😉

palindrome day recap

I’m happy tonight. I was sufficiently adored all day and I didn’t even ask for (most of) it. Today was an eye opener to how much people really seem to care about me and I was surprised. I always joke that I love the attention on my birthday, but generally I am very in your face about you having to adore me today. (ha!) Today I wasn’t. I was low-key, had awesomely cute hair (if I do say so my self, and I do!) and was genuinely surprised and touched by the attention I did receive.

Who doesn’t love to be adored, I ask? 😀

A day in photos!

Birthday girl!

Flowers from a coworker who is very sweet and motherly to me. They are very pretty!

Loot! Loot from coworkers and their children! My BFF made me the CAT envelope, which had the Princess card (far left) in it. She also happily picked out all sorts of nifty Tinker Bell stuff for me (including a much needed mouse pad… my mouse is now happily housed on the mat as I type this). The gaggle of other purple stuff was from my most awesome boss and she wrote a very sweet card for me. The BEST CARD EVER is the one in the bottom right of the photo with Charlie the Birthday Armadillo on the front. I swear that card nearly killed me. I love it!

Trying to get a good shot of my hair was proving to be difficult. So you’ll just have to believe me when I say it was cute! 😉

Even the pups got in on the birthday celebration and let me take photos with them!

Me and my Annabelly.

Me and the Jinx! (Didn’t realize the zoom was on and Jinx moved at the last bloody second – like he ALWAYS does for photos! – but I think it’s a cute shot!)

Saying “treat!” when you’re just about to snap the photo, generally produces attentive and alert doggy faces, though this time around it seemed to make Jinx lick his lips. Again with the ruining a good photo at the last second. Blasted dog!

Yes, the dogs got treats after the photos were taken. We don’t throw that word around lightly! We’d be eaten in our sleep!

And so I end today content and loved and hopefully able to get to sleep without a stupid anxiety attack!

Thank you to everyone for the birthday wishes and emails and facebook messages and love and all that other stuff. It really means a lot to me, especially this year.

23 32

Hey look! Tomorrow I will be a palindrome! On the 23 I will be 32. Hee! Palindromes are fun.

So guess what? I actually had my GI appointment today and lo! They did not find anything in the biopsies from my stomach scope. There is a surprise. I could have told them that MONTHS ago. Oh, well. I got what I wanted, technically. In March I go for my colonoscopy and I am hoping, HOPING that there will be something to see then. Not that I want to have anything wrong mind you, but damnit, I am tired of all this bloody suffering and I want someone to FIX IT!

Friday after work I am going to my parents’ place for my birthday dinner. Roast. Yummy. It will only kill me which is why I am having it on a Friday so I will be ok to go to work on Monday. Oh, drat! I just remembered I have to work on Sunday – hopefully I’ll be ok, especially since it looks as though I will be working an 11 hour day. Ugh. Some of those hours will be in these cute little heels I bought last week. Yes, me. With heels. Not too high, Mary-Jane heels from Payless. I have worn them a few times and didn’t even feel like I was in dress shoes let alone heels. Comfortable!

Oh, and Shawn gave me my birthday loot tonight, since he didn’t want me to go all day tomorrow without loot!

I got a scanner (yay! I can scan all sorts of photos now!), a Zodiac faerie (Aquarius, yo!), and a pen and tablet thingy called Bamboo (which is taking some getting used to, but will be SO handy when I edit my graphics and stuff!).

I really love my Zodiac Faerie… she’s very pretty! She’s from a collection called Night Fairies and there doesn’t seem to be one particular site for them, but I’ve linked up one place that seems to sell them.

Isn’t she pretty?

Sadly I will be at work tomorrow, but I will try not to think about that while I am there. 🙂