i'm darkness and light, bubbles and faerie wings.
i am sparkles and glitter, shadows and clouds.
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Ramblings by Category

Ramblings by Year


On July 2nd, we celebrated our 9th wedding anniversary. It was a rather quiet celebration because we’re dealing with some health issues with our beloved Jinx Puppy.  Blogging about my wonderful husband and our life together took a bit of a backseat during my week off from work as we deal with Jinx and his health.

But it’s been nine years since Shawn and I said our wedding vows (His totally trumped mine. I’ll get him back one day.) and it’s been nine years since Jinxy entered our lives (Best. Wedding. Gift. EVER!). We didn’t do much this year, it’s been a difficult year and we’re just not feeling all that celebratory. Plus, you know, Jinx.

But I love this man with every fibre of my being. There is no end to the laughter that fills our lives, even in the most difficult of times – and believe me, the last couple of years the difficult has been piling up. What tears many others apart, seems to bond us closer together. I know that is one of the luckiest things I could ever hope for in life. We stand stronger together when the going gets tough and tries to take us out. We support each other and have each others’ backs. We don’t let all this foolish negative crap get in the way of our love and our love of each other. We laugh. We joke. We do the best we can with crappy situations and we hold each other up.

I have known Shawn for 15 years and it took me a while to realize that he loved me, and I him. For nine of those fifteen years we have been husband and wife, but those labels really don’t mean as much to us as they do others. What matters most is that we are together. We are a team. We are soulmates.

I could not have gotten through my year of PTSD broken-self misery if Shawn hadn’t been there by my side each and every step of the way. He was the second phone call I made (after 9-1-1) when the guy jumped off the roof and landed almost on top of me. He was the one who took care of me while I was off work on medical leave dealing with all this PTSD crap. He drove me to each therapy appointment and doctor appointment. He went out and got me food or drink from the store when I would have a craving for something and we didn’t have it – and since I was too broken to even feel like eating, he’d get me what I wanted so that I WOULD eat something. All of this he did while being at home himself, because he’d been laid off from work and was job hunting. He was down, I was broken, and together we sat on the couch and watched Scooby Doo episodes on Netflix. We watched cartoons and laughed and he’d cheer me up constantly and once I started feeling better, I’d chatter away aimlessly and I’m sure even though that was annoying, it was helpful to him to have me home as well. When I needed to start venturing out of the house to face the Big Bad World, we’d take weekly trips to brunch, on a weekday when there were fewer people in the restaurant. We had our special brunch together each week – to the point that the wait staff know us now and we don’t always need menus. 😉

We’ve been through layoffs, health issues, loss of dogs who were our hearts, money problems, and more. With each loss we suffer and grieve, but we do so together. And from that inevitably comes laughter. We can’t NOT laugh when we are together. Even now, with the problems we’re facing that are very negative and concerning, and then topped off with Jinx’s serious health mystery, we cry and laugh. There is always a joke around the corner. A smile. A way to ease the pain, while still feeling the pain. We know it’s there, but the laughter keeps us sane and keeps us from crumbling.

This man always manages to make me laugh no matter how dire the situation or how broken I am. I mean, this is how he picked me up at the train station after I came back from visiting Monkey and her husband a week ago:

The number of thoughtful, funny, loving things that this man does for me on a daily basis is astounding. Every single day I am spoiled beyond belief and I always sort of feel like I never do enough in return; that I don’t deserve to be treated as wonderfully and specially as I am treated. Shawn comes up every night when I go to bed to kiss me before I fall asleep. He gets my lunch ready in the morning before work – because I am the most useless morning person in the universe. He makes sure I leave the house wearing pants (ha! Again, useless morning person here. Hi.) He’ll occasionally surprise me with my favourite home cooked meal of roast beef, mashed potatoes, and gravy – and he doesn’t even LIKE roast beef. He’ll make me a cake with butter cream icing to cheer me up. He’s just so full of thoughtfulness and love that I feel like I’m dreaming sometimes. Even with all the crap that’s going on in our lives, making some days feel like they weigh billions of tons, he loves me and he shows me that love in every action.

We laugh. We live. We stand together. We love. And I can’t wait to celebrate another year, and another, and another – to infinity –  with him.

For all of forever. I will love you, Shawn, and you, me.

For all of forever.