• memories,  the anomaly that is me

    about last september

    It’s a year today that my father passed away. I never did write about any of this, and I kept meaning to. But I still have thank you cards to send out to those who came to the funeral, or sent sympathy, and honestly? I haven’t been able to do any of that. We’ve had our full Year of Firsts. First Thanksgiving, first Christmas, first birthday, first wedding anniversary, first father’s day. First of a lot of things. Sometimes I catch myself holding in a breath and thinking, “oh my god, my dad’s gone”. It hits at weird times. I don’t remember much about last September. I pretty much lost…

  • memories,  year in review

    the year that fell apart

    I can count on one hand the things that went according to plan this year. Not that I had grand plans or anything, but if something could go wrong this year, it did. At full volume. Three and a half months ago, my father passed away. I wish I could say that was the worst thing in the entire year, but it wasn’t. By mid-September I was so emotionally drained that when my father passed away I was simply too numb. Normally I do an annual recap for the last post of the month. There’s very little about 2018 that I want to remember. It was a year filled with…

  • memories,  the anomaly that is me,  year in review

    through the thorns, to the stars

    There’s not a whole lot in 2017 that I feel I need to look back upon. I’m not the only one who felt it was kind of a bummer of a year, but… 2017 was an interesting year for me. It was a year I needed. To reset myself. The first year in a long time that I didn’t work in an office, instead I went back into retail. I needed that reset in my life, but I’m ready to move on again. I feel more centred, confident, less willing to take crap, and ready to tackle new challenges. 2017 didn’t end on a high note. All things considered it could…

  • memories,  the anomaly that is me

    twenty

    Twenty years ago today, the girl whose parents were certain they would have to sell with the house, moved out, and into her first apartment with her girlfriend. Twenty years ago. My parents sold that house almost 5 years ago. I didn’t go with it. In fact, I’ve never moved back home since I moved  out. (Ok, there was one week during a rough relationship patch that I went home for a “visit”. But that doesn’t count. That first apartment was huge. It wasn’t  in the best part of town. It was actually a slum of an apartment with cockroaches, and an evil landlord. It had questionable tenants, one of…

  • memories

    coffee, sweet

    I didn’t always drink coffee. I have never really cared for coffee. When I worked at the university bookstore, I’d have coffee during really busy, stressful times. People around me knew to avoid me when I was having coffee because I only drank it when I was in a bad mood. Coffee isn’t a soothing, happy drink. If I want to be soothed, and happy, I’ll drink tea. Anyhow, the last 10 years, I have become a regular coffee drinker. I used to have to drown the coffee in cream and sugar to cover the taste. And then I started dropping the sugar, and finally the cream. I have been…