• memories

    15 years

    Fifteen years ago, I was 18. I was in my second year of CEGEP. Fifteen years ago I was finally in the same school as one of my closest friends. Fifteen years ago it was a cold, wet, miserable October weekend. I remember sitting in choir practice waiting for them to arrive. It was only the day before that she and I had said “See you at choir!”. I didn’t know why they had not shown up yet. Choir practice seemed so long and dull and people were missing who were normally there. When mass started, I knew something was wrong. It was only after mass had ended that I found out – my friend and her mother had been in a car accident earlier that day. One of my closest friends was in the hospital and her mother, one of my mother’s closest friends, didn’t make it. I spent that night wide awake in shock and grief. The next day, Sunday, I wrote the song below. Only later on did I find out that I wrote it almost at the exact same time Erin had passed away. Ever since then, I have posted the lyrics as a tribute on the anniversary of her passing. This year? Fifteen years have gone by since the accident and I can’t believe it. She will always be 17. This post is dedicated to Heather & Erin. I miss you and I am a better person having had you in my life for those…

  • memories

    wow, it didn’t rain ALL day

    And yet, we started our day out late because we were exhausted and we thought it was raining – the Weather Network said it was! Imagine our surprise when we walked out the door and… it wasn’t. What to do today? What to do? We were up early, actually, and I had a rare craving for hotcakes & sausage at McDonald’s so Shawn went out and.. phoned me. It’s closed for renovations. Oops. So he thought he would stop at Wendy’s, maybe they had breakfast? Nope. They only open at 10AM. Ok, then. I ended up eating two Tim Horton’s donuts and had some tea. Heh. Healthy! Then we both read as I had the Weather Network on low. I am strangely soothed by their music. I think I’m getting too attached to this station. We need a working remote. Or a TV guide or something. And I read and I checked email and I read and Shawn read and slept and read and slept. Then I suggested we go see some Duck conservation thing, so we though, ok, we could do that. It was indoors and not too far. So I showered, then Shawn showered and I looked up the place in the Visitor’s guide and discovered it was right by the trail we were on last night and it was just a HOUSE and we walked by it twice last night and didn’t think twice about it. So to hell with that. Then I suggested Kings Landing. It’s…

  • memories

    found a used bookstore now i never need to come home

    First, let me just say that I have never been so happy to have my dog poop than I have been tonight. I don’t think I would ever say something like that in my entire life, but here I am. Jinx, you see, is stubborn and difficult about certain things. He whines like a baby when he sees another dog, or a cat, or a person and even (so we found out tonight) a DUCK. He wants to see them and play with them and love them. He does other stuff too, but mostly, he refuses to potty while on leash. And you know what? This week is chalk full o’ leashy fun! So since Friday, Jinx refused to do anything. It’s very frustrating. He finally started to pee on Saturday evening. He’s even been lifting his leg on trees! My little boy is FINALLY figuring out he’s a BOY! It only took 4 years! I’m so proud. *wipes tear from eye* But he wasn’t pooping. And you all don’t need to know this, or care, but damnit if we weren’t getting more and more frustrated and irritated with him. Anyhow, he finally went when we went for a walk this evening. It was like a party was happening on that walking trail, I tell you! Shawn and I made it seem like Jinx just won the lottery or something. Thankfully noone else was around because I felt like a dork. Anyhow, it’s been raining up a storm. But the…

  • memories

    almost there!

    I am writing you all from Edmunston, New Brunswick, where we arrived at about 10:15PM Montreal time (and 11:15 pm NB time!). Although we left the house at 2:00 PM yesterday, we really didn’t hit the travling road until 2:30 after all our stops (gas, dog food and people food). And yet, it still took us over 8 hours to get here. Part of the problem? CONSTRUCTION! Oh my god is there construction EVERYWHERE on the Trans Canada. We got stuck just outside of Montreal and then kept getting stuck between there and almost to Rivere-du-Loup. Argh and a half! We stopped when we needed too, not too often, but all totalled it likely added up to over an hour of stoppage, and add in the construction slow downs, I guess that’s why. We didn’t think we’d make it as far as we did, though only the last hour was driven in the dark (where you can’t see the road past your headlights, dark). We actually had great driving weather. It was supposed to rain and storm in both places and it didn’t. We only got hit by rain once and it was for a few seconds. And I think it’s my fault. You see the sunset was glorious in my side mirror. So I snapped this shot: The second I snapped this photo it was like I’d burst a water balloon or something. We closed up all the windows and put the wipers on the fastest speed and you…

  • memories

    remembering

    Yesterday marked one year since the passing of my grandfather. It seems so strange that it’s been a year already. So much has gone on since then. Even just this week, a year ago today, was crazy. We had a bizarre heat wave, with the humidex reaching almost 100 degrees, we had strange storms with scary water tornado things. We were fighting with Sears about our air conditioner. It was miserable out, we lost power for almost 4 days due to the storm. I dreamt my grandfather died at the exact same time he was rushing to the hospital only to pass on 36 hours later. And yet, two weeks before his passing, we celebrated Mother’s Day at my sister’s house (where I fell and broke my toe!). But either way… my grandparents were there. Together. Alive. Ok, so perhaps my grandmother wasn’t looking at the camera, but trust me! They were happy and laughing and alive. Hard to believe that 22 days after this photo was snapped, my grandfather was gone. And 11 months after this photo was snapped, my grandmother was gone as well. Last year, when I was looking through my father’s photos (from which, by the way, I stole the above) sometime after June 5 and came across the Mother’s Day shots I remember feeling like my heart had stopped. I even had this quick intake of breath when I saw my Poppop in the photos. It was only a month or so later, but it…

  • memories

    thoughts (sorry, this is long)

    I was afraid I wouldn’t sleep last night. But I did. And I think I even slept relatively well for me – I only remember getting up twice to go to the bathroom. I was still up by 8:30 this morning, which is sort of lousy for a day off, but hey, I ‘m glad I got up because apparently the recycling truck was passing and we thought it wouldn’t today due to it being Good Friday and all. Since  I got my father’s phone call last night, I have been doing a lot of thinking. I have thought of death. I have thought of cancer. I have thought of family. I have thought of friends. I have thought about life and what it means and what I am doing with mine. The first real brush with death I remember is that of my Great-Uncle Eddie. He was one of my grandfather’s many siblings and I always considered him my favourite uncle. He had the same mischievous glint in his eyes that my grandfather did. He also had a budgie named Toby who used to walk up his arm. And whenever Uncle Eddie and Auntie Margie came to visit my grandparents they would bring Toby. I was young the times I would see him, but he was one of those people I instantly loved and wanted to be around. He died when I was 12 or 13. I think I was in the 7th grade. I remember being in drama…

  • memories,  the anomaly that is me,  year in review

    not a very good year

    I’m cheating this year with my year round-up post. I’m starting it in early December so I can have time to compile all the months. Heh. Sneaky me! 2008 wasn’t such a fantastic year. It could have been worse (it has been) and it could have been better. So here’s my year in a nutshell (complete with photos!). January (11 posts) : turned 32 on the 23rd and that amused me. Gotta love palindromes! planning the final stages of our Disney World vacation in February got my awesome wrist tattoo! was not very talkative on this blog, apparently. I need a couple more bullets to make this fit around the photo, or maybe just one more with a lot of writing in it so it works better. I really need to remember to be more exciting or I can’t format this post the way I want to at the end of the year! Argh! February (13 posts) : my Nana turned 90 was having a mini breakdown due to too much work and not enough time off WE WENT TO DISNEY WORLD!! WHEEEEE!! [which reminds me, I never did finish posting the recaps of the trip! Oops…] Jinx turned 3 March (16 posts) : Annie turned 10! my Dad turned 60 we still had a heck of a lot of snow (boo!) had yet another colonoscopy which found nothing wrong Shawn turned 31 and spent the day playing in the snow started painting my living room (still need to finish…

  • holiday fun,  memories

    woohoo! i *heart* itunes

    I was innocently surfing the iTunes store for Christmas music (for which I have a huge weakness and might just  have spent way more money than I meant to just now…) and I took a chance and typed in a name in the search bar just to see what would happen. Well, boy was I surprised and excited to have what I was looking for pop up! Back when I was a wee little adorable child, my parents had this Christmas album (remember records? Those large round things with the hole in the middle?) that I just loved. It was Catherine McKinnon’s I’ll be Home For Christmas and I would play it over and over on my little record player. This was one of three Christmas albums that I coveted in my room for the festive season (the other two being, The Story of Snoopy’s Christmas and A Sesame Street Christmas (scroll down to see it in CD form)). I still have that album, although it’s rather warped due to my parents having kept their records slightly too close to the heater (oops) and this is what it looks like: I have been looking for this everywhere on CD, or vinyl or anything to no avail. I was resigned to accept that it didn’t exist anywhere and I would never hear this one again due to a) no record player and b) warped, yo. But every Christmas I would search and search, hoping that bright star in the sky might…

  • memories

    trim up the tree with christma– wait! get the power tools!

    Power tools and wine. The only way to get your tree up at Christmas. If you don’t do it that way, well then, you’re just doing it wrong, buck-o! We had to get a new tree stand this year since my old one was finally put to rest last year. We got a nice plastic, snowflake shaped one for $9 at Wal-Mart. Only the holes in it for the eyelet screw things were too small. So Shawn had to get out the drill and make them slightly bigger. We got our tree yesterday afternoon. I think that’s the first time I didn’t get it on a Friday night since I left home. Also, we got it one weekend earlier, only because of the way the days fell, I felt like next Friday wouldn’t allow me to have it up long enough. We didn’t do anything to it yesterday though. Just got it up in the tree stand and let the branches fall. Shawn hadn’t been out shopping yet (well, neither had I really) and didn’t have my ornament so we didn’t decorate last night. Truth be told, I didn’t really like the one I originally got him so I was glad we waited because I found something cuter today at a craft fair I went to with my sister and brother-in-law. This afternoon it snowed. I think it was waiting for us to have our tree. It actually looks like Christmas out there. (We got less than an inch, but…

  • memories

    remembering

    this will always remind me erin walker :: august 6, 1977 – october 23, 1994 when i close my eyes she’s too young to be forgotten her world has only just begun her future is an empty slate waiting to be filled and i see her standing there when i close my eyes dancing in the sky over moonbeams, around clouds starlight in her eyes angels in her hair and i see her when i close my eyes child of the sunlight daughter of the day sleeping on bed of roses with flowers in her hair the wind it softly kissed her cheek the raindrops fell like tears and i see her when i close my eyes a thousand white candles their flames dancing with the air as rocks play tag with ocean she’s fast asleep never to be woken and i see her when i close my eyes © catherine healy October 23, 1994 I love you, Erin. I hope you never stop watching over me.

  • memories,  the anomaly that is me

    high tea

    There is just something about good friends that I can’t explain. I do know that I appreciate my friends more than anyone can possibly imagine due to the crap I have had to go through in my past. All of that trauma and baggage makes the friends I have now so much more dear to me. Last Friday, on my Mental Health Day Off from work I was contacted by two different people from out of town letting me know they would be in town and wanted to meet up. I was thrilled, of course it was the FOLLOWING week I was taking off as vacation. Timing. Heh. First I heard from Marcel (the fantastic guy who married Shawn and I ;)) and I was able to meet him for lunch on Wednesday. Marcel is one of those people who when I see him, no matter what my mood, a huge smile breaks out on my face in that instant. Not many people invoke that reaction in me. Shawn is one of them (which is great, seeing as I am married to him and if he made me scowl or something every time I saw him, well, I might have other issues to worry about!). But Marcel is just one of those people who makes me feel completely and totally happy when I am with him. He’s always in his polar fleece sweater (although a different incarnation of it over the years) and always, and I mean ALWAYS smells like…

  • memories

    family reunions, sometimes they happen

    I was out at my mother’s cousin’s place today for a family reunion for the Hewitt side of the family (my Grandmother’s family). This was something I was both dreading and looking forward to. I am not a huge family get-together person (or any get togethering for that matter) but I was really looking forward to seeing my cousin, her family, her parents…. and I knew it would mean a lot to my grandmother since only about a month ago did many of us get together for my Poppop’s funeral. The group shot was rather complicated and I didn’t get one myself, I’ll have to wait until it’s sent around via email for people to grab. I want to post that with the one taken from the reunion about 15 years ago at the same place. The eldest child of one of my cousins was almost 2 years old and this time around he had just graduated from high school. My time flies. I did get some shots of Sheryl and I. One came out great, one… well, I’d be happy if all my little roly poly parts weren’t there. Once I get my copy of the group shot I’ll stick it here with the scanned photo of all us “kids” from 1993! This was my weekend. Yesterday I stayed home in the pouring rain, heat, humidity and played on the laptop and helped Shawn out with some stuff. (Long story short, we had to get a Wii for reasons…

  • memories

    25 days

    So, the main themed pool at our resort will be closed for refurbishment while we’re there… but February 9, we’re doing this… And February 14th we’re searching for TREASURE! Can I just tell you how much I am looking forward to this? Well, I am. 😀

  • memories,  the anomaly that is me,  year in review

    all in good time

    Ok so every year there seems to be some new meme thing out there for a wrap-up of the entire year. In 2005 I answered random questions, in 2006 I modified one where I was supposed to just write the first line of each first post of the month. I think I liked what I did last year, so I will continue with that version. I will start each month with the first line of the first post and then I will add other important things that happened that month. January (39 posts) : It’s getting harder and harder to remember the time when I actually cared about New Year’s Eve. [so true, I still feel this way] turned 31, which to be honest I don’t really remember happening. When asked how old I am, I still say 30. It’s sort of as if the entire year in my in-laws’ home never happened. went house hunting twice, which resulted in finding our house (the last one we saw on the last time we went out). Monkey came to visit for my birthday and I so desperately wished she would move back to Montreal (hey, my wish came true!) February (32 posts) : It’s true! [vague enough?] had my first ever MRI health started getting really bad, really fast Jinx turned 2 still living in my in-laws’ basement… but closer to having our own place! my favourite Aunt was diagnosed with cancer (multiple myeloma) March (22 posts) : We’re off to…