the anomaly that is me

choose your own adventure

I have been looking at a blinking cursor for much of today. Just a blinking line at the start of a blank, open space. In the 10 years I have been blogging I have always needed to fill that empty space on both the last and first days of the calendar year.

It’s rare that I feel so full of…anticipation on January 1st. Normally it’s just another day to me. Just a regular ol’ day but at the start of a month in which I have a birthday.

This year I feel slightly different. It’s not that I have all sorts of hopes and dreams that this year will be better. Perhaps deep down I do, but really, I just feel like this is a good time to follow my intuition. I used to create and imagine all of the time. My head was in the clouds, in a daydream more than it was grounded in reality. That wasn’t always the best way  to live life but I felt a lot more connected to everything than I do these days.

Last year I challenged myself to get active and I stayed active. As I became more and more active I found that I would want to be more and more creative when I was done. And with the unwanted addition of all of this mental stress I discovered that I needed that outlet more than I thought I did.

So this year I will stare at the blank pages in front of me and I will choose which adventures to follow. Which paths to take. I’ll wander through fogs and trees and rivers and darkness. I’ll follow sunshine. I’ll navigate by stars. I’ll fill those pages with colours and life and thoughts. I want to fill those blank pages with life. My life. Vibrant and shimmering.

There will occasionally be glitter. Sometimes just angry, dark scribbles that cut through the paper.

But it will be mine. Me.

And I’ll fight my demons with words and colour and texture. I’ll focus on the physical pen and paper and less on the cyber world. But I’ll blog more because that’s one of the things I love to do. I can speak in 10, 75, 140 or 500 characters. I don’t need to spew every thought inside my head. I will carry my agenda and journal with me daily. I will buy a new bag to carry them comfortably. I will create. I will breathe. I will live.

I will choose my own adventures daily.

Will you choose yours?

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