Me and my pink hi-lighter hair took to the streets again this evening when we got home from work. You can’t tell in this photos, but I had a cute little poof and aqua bow hair-style going on today. Aqua looks GREAT with fluorescent troll-doll hair, btw.
I didn’t go to aqua fit today. My body hurt. Rather, my bones felt like they were hurting. I am great at listening to my body, so I made the call and skipped AF today. I went out to lunch with Mo and friends instead. They ate, I had a snack and looked forward to my home-made lunch back at the office. Thing was, on the way back to the office, a construction site dropped something that was so loud and sounded so similar to the jumper hitting the pavement two weeks ago that it freaked me out. A lot.
Mo, Jo and Erin all fussed around me and I took deep breaths and we crossed the street. My heart was in my throat and tears were in my eyes. And just as I was telling them that I’ll be ok, but wow, it was exactly two weeks ago TODAY that the incident happened – IT HAPPENED AGAIN! We passed a delivery truck that ALSO dropped something heavy and loud as we passed it. I swear I thought I was going to pass out. Mo, the blessing of a friend that she is, took my arm and petted me as we walked away saying “everyone is alive and well. No one has died.” And although I KNEW I was safe, my body was in hi-alert mode and up until I went running, I was still very shaky.
So I made the decision when I got home – I was running (or attempting to) before we ate. I said I’d go alone. I’d take Jinx. But Shawn came with me and walked the dogs. I did take Jinx though because the last two days we went out, as soon as I started walking BACK to Shawn & dogs, Jinxy would start to bound to me looking all happy and tail-wagging. Therefore I said I would try taking him with me this time. If it didn’t work out, I’d just drop him off with Shawn on one of my walks.
As soon as I took hold of Jinx’s leash he wanted to RUUUUNNNN!! He was so very, very happy. I kept talking him down to a fast trot because “Mummy’s only on her 5 minute walking warm-up, sweetie. We’ll run soon!”
And he RAN! He was so happy the entire walk. I started out trying to keep him even with me, but he wanted to bound ahead, so I let the leash go a little (it’s a 6 foot leash, so why not use it?) and he just GALOOOMPHED! ahead of me and would slowdown, look back at me and settle into a nice trot for him as I ran.
Honestly, as much as my body ached (not in a concerning way) and didn’t want to run tonight, watching Jinx bound and be so blissfully happy that he got to run with me, was inspiring and made me forget about “how much time is left in this stupid 60 seconds” and how much I hurt (not in a concerning way) and I ran faster.
Jinx was slowing down in the end and I did do one 60-second jaunt without him because he just wanted to stand and sniff. I gave him to Shawn for that. The poor boy IS 8 years old now and running isn’t something he’s used to either. But that 60 seconds was HARD and I had to stop, but as I stopped the chime sounded to start walking so, go, me! I took Jinxy on the last run and he was happy to be back with me. As long as it’s cool I will try running with him again. Finnish Lapphunds cannot do heat at all and I don’t want to give him heat stroke or a heart attack. 🙁
So I did my 31 minutes of running/walking and I listened to my body.
My shoes are fine. They were bought from The Running Room and they make an amazing difference in running than any other show I have ever tried to run in. What hurts is my body reacting to the running. To my feet hitting pavement. I feel the pain in my bones (with the exception of the back cramps I get randomly… I have no idea why??) I can tell the difference between pain and BAD pain. I have been dealing with chronic pain issues for years now, I assure you all I am very in tune with my body. I just pay attention to what I am feeling and where I am feeling it as I run. I am curious as to how each time out something feels different or the same or better or worse.
For instance, my lungs don’t hurt at all. I can BREATHE while I run, which is a new thing. I am not breaking down into a 15 minute bronchial cough once I get home and stop running. I am not gasping for air in a painful way as I stop running and start to walk. I can take deep breaths and have been getting better at breathing while I run. I consider this an accomplishment and I sort of feel that if there’s hope for my lungs, there’s hope for my bones. I am not feeling pain in my muscles (very much, anyhow) it’s a deeper ache that doesn’t feel wrong, it just feels different and it is different every time I go out.
BUT I can almost reach over and put my nose to my knees when I reach for my toes sitting down. (You know the leaning forward with legs out in front of you?)
I am still pushing myself to make it through these 9 broken-up minutes of running though. It’s not easy and I sometimes feel like it won’t ever be easy, that I’ll never be able to run more than 60s at once. I am going to try though and having Jinx along helps me get through it without thinking about how much I have left (until I am sure I have 3 runs left and I start each one with “Oh, GOD!” as I set out. heh)
I am enjoying listening to my body when I am out there doing this. It keeps my mind off other things like work, school and stupid jumpers. And.. I’m starting to not hate the way I look in photos either. So, there’s that.
So, to Mo, Jo, Erin, Jinxy, Sophie and my extremely wonderful & patient husband – thank you for making this all a little bit easier. I couldn’t do any of this without you.