i'm darkness and light, bubbles and faerie wings. i am sparkles and glitter, shadows and clouds. i love purple, and faeries, and books, and music.

Ramblings by Category

Ramblings by Year

self-maintenance

I have been frustrated with my scale. The last four weeks have not seen any remarkable change on Sundays when I stand there and take note of the number. I have my aqua fit. I am back to doing crunches/push-ups now that my plague is gone. I am planning meals and snacks and eating fairly well. I have lapses, but honestly, not enough for it to make NO difference. What I am noticing is that I am great at maintaining my weight, but that’s not what I am trying to do.

I’m also tired of taking pills. Having a past riddled with depression and mental illness I have done my time of medicinal cocktails and I am trying very hard to eliminate medication from my life. I am actually down to only two medications: the one for my pain (which I learned I cannot even cut in half without my body rebelling) and one for the acid reflux I have had since forever. It’s a burning reminder of the digestive issues I had for so long. It’s the only thing that still bothers me, to the point of EXTREME pain.

But I don’t want to take pills anymore. And taking the stomach acid pill isn’t healthy after so many years. It prohibits your body from producing things it actually needs. So I tried to research natural alternatives and I haven’t really found anything that didn’t seem sketchy to me. With the exception of adding foods to my diet that should help. Things like garlic and ginger and tumeric and all sorts of healthy things.

I’m trying to eat healthier so why not?

On Saturday I made the decision to not take my stomach pill. Normally by lunch time I am ready to breathe fire without it, but I made it through to Monday without having any discomfort at all. Success! Monday I could feel heart burn but I stood strong! I made sure I was eating healthy and natural foods and I wasn’t going to let the stomach acid win!

Tuesday night (last night) I had to take a pill before bed because I was in so much pain and the acid was so strong it was making me cough. I think it’s because of what I ate though. I had butter chicken and naan bread at lunch and both cheese and yogurt. I know dairy is bad for stomach acid stuff (at least I think? I know milk is bad). I think it was the carb-heavy meal that pushed me over the edge and then a sandwich at night for dinner. I didn’t take anything today and although I am in some discomfort, I am pretty sure I’ll be able to sleep tonight. I was convinced I was going to throw up fire all last night though. It was not a peaceful sleep.

I am slowly changing my body around. We start every morning by eating our two princesses and I am active (aqua fit was really intense this week and I am so sore right now) – even if I am not as active as I’d like to be – and I have made a challenge with some coworkers now to take the stairs up minimum once a day. We’re on the 7th storey and you can’t get out on floors 4 and five, so if you don’t get out at 3 and take the elevator, you’re committed to climbing to the 7th floor.

I can tell you that there are 130 stairs between floors 2 and 7. That’s about 70 more than I can do without my lungs hurting so much I just want to roll over and die. It’s embarrassing. Not only do my legs hurt, but I can’t breathe for like, 15 minutes after taking those stairs! I didn’t get to them today but I will try and do them twice tomorrow to make up for it.

Food, vitamins, activity… I will get there. I will become a healthier version of myself and hopefully only need to take my pain pills (and the occasional advil or migraine pill). Hoping that eventually the pain pills will be unnecessary, too.

My scale won’t move and my measurements are decreasing at a snail’s pace BUT I was able to wear my awesome purple rain-boots with my pants tucked into them today. I haven’t been able to get pants between the boot and leg since I bought them. I normally only wear them with tights. So I consider that a success.

And I am working towards a better me. I will do this. I’m in the zone. I will get there. I’d just like to have some of it go faster and I would really like that scale to move past the stupid plateau number it’s been at for three months now. Grrr.