• the anomaly that is me

    aKNITction

    My new addiction: knitting. Turns out that knitting is quite helpful at dealing with anxiety. The repetitive motions and the feel of the needles and yarn are rather soothing. And, well, if you have an addictive personality (like I do), it suddenly becomes ALL you want to do. Two weeks ago I needed to up my mental health healing game. Painting the craft room wasn’t cutting it (and I still need to finish that room, sigh.) So I took myself to Michael’s and WalMart and bought myself some yarn and needles and was determined to teach myself to KNIT. I failed almost immediately because I couldn’t figure out how the…

  • the anomaly that is me

    the colour of healing

    I don’t know if I’ll be back at work next week or not. Personally, I don’t think I should be, but I guess that’s up to the doctor to decide. I’m still not sleeping and having stupid panic attacks all the time. I’m sad, I’m angry, I’m manic, I’m exhausted. But I have an appointment tomorrow, and we’ll see what’s what. Also, it’s 5pm and the sun is still out. Time change this weekend, which always makes me tired (will I even notice a difference?) which means MORE light at the end of the day. I like that. Meanwhile, in my random manic moments, I am channeling that energy into…

  • the anomaly that is me

    place holder

    I don’t remember what I was going to write about when I began this post on February 22nd, and wrote the subject line only. It probably had to do with what’s been going on in my head and how I’ve been struggling lately. I have a second post in drafts that I began last Thursday, and I even made a graphic for it. It was, and is, supposed to be an upbeat, positive post. Only when I went to write anything –  all energy and motivation left me. Which is what I think happened with this post, too. It’s almost as if I deflate like a balloon when it’s time to…

  • the anomaly that is me

    1027

    The number of songs currently on my iPhone, and I don’t want to listen to any of them. They are all annoying me. I just skip, skip, skip, past each one. I stop, thinking I’ve found a song I want to listen to, but then skip it half-way through. I hate this feeling. I hate days like this. Well, more like weeks. I had over 2000 songs on here until recently, but got rid of most of them, keeping only those I was more inclined to let play.  Alas, not so much any more.   So, I can’t read, and now I can’t listen to music. My two main outlets…

  • my muse

    i’m not ready yet

    It was cold and grey the day the sky came crashing down without warning the sky is falling And I will never forget that sound And you came running And everyone was running And I waited for screams that never came Is it the end of the world? Is this the end of the world? Cause if this is the end of the world,               I’m not ready yet Through chilled air there were sirens muted by silence; muffled by fear And I stood frozen in time your hand was in mine Disbelieving everything Is it the end of the world? Is this the…