• the anomaly that is me,  year in review

    the year – no – the decade that defeated me

    copyright cjh beyondelsewhere 2019

    I’m so tired. I am tired of scary health issues, injuries, sadness, bad luck. I am tired of treading water over and over every day, fighting to keep my head above that water. The water never stops pouring in. And yeah, this sounds overdramatic and tragic. But I have to tell you, it’s all I can feel. The years in this decade have just piled on more, and more crap. This last year wasn’t much better than the one before, or the one before that. It never ends. I used to be a hopeful, and optimistic person. I had this naive hopeful outlook for the future. Bad things happen, but…

  • memories,  year in review

    the year that fell apart

    I can count on one hand the things that went according to plan this year. Not that I had grand plans or anything, but if something could go wrong this year, it did. At full volume. Three and a half months ago, my father passed away. I wish I could say that was the worst thing in the entire year, but it wasn’t. By mid-September I was so emotionally drained that when my father passed away I was simply too numb. Normally I do an annual recap for the last post of the month. There’s very little about 2018 that I want to remember. It was a year filled with…

  • memories,  the anomaly that is me,  year in review

    through the thorns, to the stars

    There’s not a whole lot in 2017 that I feel I need to look back upon. I’m not the only one who felt it was kind of a bummer of a year, but… 2017 was an interesting year for me. It was a year I needed. To reset myself. The first year in a long time that I didn’t work in an office, instead I went back into retail. I needed that reset in my life, but I’m ready to move on again. I feel more centred, confident, less willing to take crap, and ready to tackle new challenges. 2017 didn’t end on a high note. All things considered it could…

  • memories,  year in review

    the year of lost things & found things

    Every year, as the end of December closes in, I feel as though I am reaching the finish line staggering, and out of breath. The last handful of years, I see the start of a new calendar year as a refresh, sort of like clearing your browser history and cache. I have felt alone in my struggles through each year as I look around at others’ recaps. I miss the days when I used to read (and enjoy) blogs. I miss the days when friends I made through blogging used to blog. I would read their summaries of the year that ended and feel as though I was alone in…

  • the anomaly that is me,  year in review

    the year of unexpected adventures

    Everywhere you look right now, you’re flooded with 2014 posts: best of; worst of; this list; that list; red fish; blue fish. Reflections. Resolutions. This isn’t really a post like that. Sort of. Last year, I was oddly optimistic and hopeful at the start of January. It’s a rare thing for me to feel that way, but I had such a strong gut instinct that things were going to be good in 2014. I was suspicious of my feeling because it was an even-numbered year, and those of you who know me know I don’t have good even-numbered years. But I really did think that 2014 was going to be…