i'm darkness and light, bubbles and faerie wings. i am sparkles and glitter, shadows and clouds. i love purple, and faeries, and books, and music.

Ramblings by Category

Ramblings by Year

trying to find the festive

I’m struggling, folks. I am finding it more and more difficult to find the festive the closer we get to Christmas. I’m feeling blue and I think it’s related to how green everything is. If I wanted a green Christmas, I’d move south.

green christmas 2015

There’s so much misery going around – for everyone. Adulting is HARD. You don’t really get to take a vacation from adulting either.

Couple the general negativity that’s going on in the world around us these days, with the fact that we have had a very mild, and green fall (into December), I’m just not feeling the Christmas joy. I don’t even feel much like faking said joy.

green christmas 2015

I came home from work one day to find that my husband had put up lights outside. We’ve never had lights outside and to come home, in the dark, to a glowy-whimsical front porch was a delight. When I got inside, I saw Shawn had put up various decorations and it really did cheer the place up a bit. He put stuff up in different places than I normally do – which I love! I get stuck in the same decorating pattern year after year, and it gets dull. This year things are mixed up and it feels nice.

But I still don’t feel very festive.

We went and picked up our tree today. It was 7C. I think it was in the negatives last year, and miserable outside. It’s strange getting ready for Christmas when it feels like mid-October outside. October felt like August. We might just have to push all of our seasons around by about two months.

Yoshi and his indoor potty

There are a lot of things on my mind, and it’s hard to weed through those things and focus on the few happy thoughts there are. This isn’t a PTSD-related thing. It’s just…everything is so blah right now. The news. The weather. Work. Responsibility. Adulting.

It’s hard for me to shop for Christmas gifts when it feels like there should still be 3 months until Christmas. This will prove problematic once Christmas rolls around and I have not gotten any shopping done. The closer it gets the more crowded the stores. I hate shopping. I hate shopping in crowded stores even more.

Even listening to Christmas music isn’t fun — I KNOW! This is ME! I generally listen to it in June! But I just skip past each song as it plays. And dude. I have over 24 hours of Christmas music on my phone. And that’s just what’s activated.

Everyone around me is sad, tired, stressed…it’s difficult to find the festive when you’re all so exhausted just trying to make through each day as it comes.

Twenty days until Christmas, hopefully there will be some snow before then and it will help pick up our spirits. I hope so.

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