Today would have been Annie’s 13th birthday. I realize I never did a post last Monday for Jinx’s 6th birthday, but life got a little overwhelming and I forgot. Less time blogging and more time spending with Shawn and Jinx in real life. I guess that’s the best thing to do.
I miss Annie so much. So, so, so very much. It hurts like hell and I can’t stop thinking it shouldn’t hurt this much for a dog. I have lost my favourite Aunt/Godmother, Grandfather, Grandmother all in a row. I lost my best friend and her mother when I was only 18. I have suffered loss, terrible loss. And yet I can’t seem to shake my sadness over losing my Annabelle.
We woke up to this huge snowstorm this morning. A snowstorm that was cancelled yesterday by Environment Canada (way to go there). I have been sick most of the weekend and I was feeling down and like crap and then we heard the weather and looked outside and I just knew I had to call in sick. I was so overwhelmed by everything and shivering and no voice, I stayed home.
Shawn said, “Well, crap!” (only he might have said something stronger than crap) “Of course there’s a snowstorm! It’s Annie’s birthday!” And it made sense. Annie loved the snow. So much so that she would turn into a puppy in her enthusiasm for romping through the drifts and eating it all up. This is a dog who didn’t play with anything. Not a thing. But put some snow on the ground and she was in paradise. She would have loved this storm. Whereas we might not have been all that thrilled to get 30cm (66cm in the Easter Townships from what I was told by a friend) Annie would have been beside herself with joy. Wagging tail, bounding through the yard. Yes, even in her old age, she was still agile and puppy lovey with the snow.
Today’s weather was in her honour. I know that deep down. Ok, I could have done without the most major or storms we’ve had ALL season in my town in MARCH, but we went for a walk when the sun was setting and romped through the snow drifts for Annie.
I miss her like crazy. There’s such an emptiness inside me that I can’t shake. I feel like there should be more important things to grieve over and that I shouldn’t been this hurt over her passing. But I am. I can’t help it.
I miss my Annabelly so much that I forget to breathe sometimes. I want this feeling to be over.