It's 7:45am.... I have been up 20 minutes, so has Shawn. We're not rushing to open the gifts under the tree, oh, no! What did we get under the tree?

Annie with explosive diarrhrea. Yay!

Seriously. She pooped - A LOT - under the tree. On my beautiful, sparkly new tree-skirt. It's in the wash now and I don't think it will survive. On top of that? I managed to get it all over MY NIGHTGOWN as I was putting it in the washer, but I didn't realize it... so there I am holding a dust pan and broom in one hand (had to sweep up all the fallen tree needles), empty plastic bags in the other, with the cleaning product... my nose was running and then when Shawn hands me a kleenex we notice that my hand is COVERED in poop. Because the front of my nightie is covered in poop!  OH GOD! So he unbuttons my night gown.. I am now standing topless in the hallway whimpering as he wipes my nose - because I sure as hell couldn't do it!

Then we notice that the reason my nightie is covered is because I got poop on the washer as I was putting in the tree skirt. So Shawn was cleaning that off as well as my nightie.

I am now sitting here in my baggy mcgill sweater as I write this to you (and my sweatpants!!). How pathetic is this? Huh? Ew.

Why the hell did she have to do that under the freaking tree! WHY? Jeez, dog!

Hope you all find something better under your tree today! [good thing we had our christmas yesterday, yo!]

[and yet, I see the humour in all this... I do. We have been laughing. But the apartment now smells like CRAP and it's making me ill. Ugh. Shawn just made up a christmas carol about Lappies pooping under the tree. HAHAHA! I love that man!]

MERRY CHRISTMAS!