Never Sit Down in a Hoopskirt and Other Things I Learned in Southern Belle Hellby Cricket Rumley

Expelled from thirteen boarding schools in the past five years, seventeen-year-old Jane Fontaine Ventouras is returning to her Southern roots, and the small town of Bienville, Alabama, where ladies always wear pearls, nothing says hospitality like sweet tea and pimento cheese sandwiches, and competing in the annual Magnolia Maid Pageant is every girl’s dream. But Jane is what you might call an anti-belle—more fishnets and tattoos than sugar and spice. The last thing on her mind is joining the Magnolia Maid brigade and parading around town in a dress so big she can’t even fi t through doors. So when she finds herself up to her ears in ruffl es and etiquette lessons, she’s got one mission: Escape.What’s a hipster to do? Will Jane survive Bienville boot camp intact or will they—gasp!—make a Southern belle out of her yet? (goodreads.com)

Release date: June 14, 2011So. Much. Fun!I took a chance on accepting this review copy because something deep inside my brain told me I'd like it. That little place in my brain was 100% right. To be honest, I think the trigger words were "Boarding schools" because if you have boarding schools or witches in a book I NEED to read it. I'm like that.Jane narrates the story of her time as a Magnolia Maid and it's a laugh a second from there. She's sarcastic and fun and yet still has that Southern charm about her regardless of the fact that she's been shipped all over the world to boarding schools to try and school the rebel out of her.All five Maids, from the two mean girls Ashley and Mallory to the two "diverse" girls, Brandi Lyn and Zara were entertaining and well written. Jane has to spend a lot of time with these girls and unexpected friendships form and they truly learn how to work as a team.There's a tiny little bit of romance thrown into the mix as Jane pines for her long lost best friend Luke, who she has not seen in 5 years after her father caught them kissing after her mother died. For five years, Cosmo has sent his daughter to different boarding schools to keep her out of trouble, but once you've been kicked out of thirteen schools in five years, the only other option is to be sent back to Bienville and be raised by your grandmother. (Personally, I think that should have just happened in the first place.)I loved Jane and I loved Brandi Lyn. I love that the 3 "diverse" girls (Jane included) had the support of Mr. Hill but the displeasure of Miss. Upton. I love that they proved her wrong by becoming the best Maids they could be.This wasn't all superficial "how to be a Maid" story though, there are some tender moments where Jane deals with the loss of her mother and how that affected her life and those around her. She's talked about behind her back, whispered about while she's standing there. She's the girl whose mother died and left her an orphan, poor thing. Jane, at 17, handles everything rather maturely most of the time. I can see why she'd rather be anywhere but there because a small town, especially one where everything is based on appearance, isn't the easiest place to be.This  book was a light, fun read and one that I am truly thankful for receiving because I would never have heard or it or picked it up otherwise. I highly recommend it!