opposite

Just now, while sitting on the kitchen floor wrapping presents for my 6 year old niece and 1 1/2 year old nephew, I got a message letting me know that a woman I know and really loved passed away today. Her death and the events leading up to this moment took everyone by surprise this week.I sat there, on the kitchen floor, with tears in my eyes as I wrestled the world's most rippiest wrapping paper around presents for children. I thought of how I had totally opposite feelings and thoughts going through my head at the same time.It's one of those oddities of life where life goes on for some while others feel like it has stopped completely. How can you wrap presents, toys, and think of happy children when others have passed away and you know their families are dealing with grief.Grief and joy - two opposite emotions - yet both are bouncing around my soul right now, almost as though they are playing tag.On December 21st, solstice and not the end of the world, I lit a candle, with three flames. Three women in my mind, two friends, and one was no one I knew, but whose passing I had heard of from a coworker and it, too, had come as a shock. Now two of those three flames have burnt out and my heart is heavy with sadness.

Tomorrow my niece and nephew will descend upon my home and unwrap the gifts I was wrapping tonight. There will (hopefully) be joy and laughter and even though I am always CrankyPantsCat when it comes to children, I am totally going to appreciate that these children are so full of life and make me feel alive.Life is so precious. I hope everyone takes a moment to appreciate the life around them right now.I'm now taking myself up to bed and will fall asleep not with sugarplums dancing in my head, but with grief and joy dancing together in a crazy swirl of emotion.