July 12, 1942

I wanted to post this on July 12, which would have been my grandparents' 70th wedding anniversary, but I didn't have time to sit in front of the computer and blog. Apparently when one works for a living, work tends to get in the way of non-work and after spending all day at the computer, I just don't feel like doing the same when I get home. Alas.

It hit me at the start of this month that had my grandparents still been alive, this would have marked their 70th wedding anniversary. Unfortunately my grandfather passed away right before their 67th anniversary and my grandmother 10 months later. I still think of them every single day. I still get the urge to call my Nana when we have a small lull in the afternoon at work. It always catches me short when I realize I can't do that anymore. Three years might have come and gone between losing my grandparents but after 33 years of having them in my life, pretty much daily, it's a hard habit to kick.

My grandparents did actually get to spend 70 years together, since they dated for three years before tying the knot. Imagine. Seventy years with the same person by your side for better or for worse. Seventy years getting to spend each day in the company of your best friend. I can only wish that Shawn and I will have that, but we were older when we met, and I don't know if we'll be blessed with 70 years together or not. If we even reach our 67th anniversary, we'll be 96 and 95 respectively. I can't see us living that long! I'm not being negative, it's just such a huge thing to get your head around, that one day you might be 4 years away from being alive for a CENTURY!

July 2, 2005

In this day and age when people seem to treat marriage like dating, like it doesn't mean as much as it should, I think people who reach those marriage milestones of 20, 30, 40... 67 years are just so lucky. I feel like people just don't get married for the right reasons anymore.

I'm saying this not being a huge fan of marriage. I mean, I didn't grow up dreaming of my perfect wedding day, or the dress I'd wear. I never dreamed that one day my One True Love would come sweeping into my life and pick me up off my feet. Shawn and I never thought we'd get married, but one day it just felt right. So we did. I don't like church weddings. I think the Church puts too many limitations on marriage. I like the idea of Hand Fasting (one word?) and tying two souls together. I love that marriage is a promise full of love and hope.

People seem to love differently today than in the past. I can even tell a difference in just the last 20 years, but it's certainly obvious in the 70 year gap between my grandparents and today. I can't explain it in words, but the kind of love and relationship that my grandparents have, that even my parents have, is so rare these days. I like to think that Shawn and I have that kind of love and partnership. I know of some friends who certainly do. People who spend their lives together because they love each other, not because it looks good to get married. I have friends who aren't married to who have this bond, as well. You don't have to have a piece of paper to prove your love.

I miss my Nana and Poppop so strongly and at times it's still sort of overwhelming. There's a little Mexican restaurant Shawn and I discovered a few years ago that's just across the street from the senior's apartment my grandparents moved into in... 2004? 2003? Hmm. Anyhow, they'd moved from their house of 60 years into an apartment and for some reason I always get hit by this wave of sadness when I see it now that they are gone. I don't get that same punch from passing by their old house - a house that I spent MUCH of my childhood growing up in. That could possibly be because the people who bought it completely remodeled it and added a second story, etc. Actually, THAT really bugs me. That they CHANGED the house I loved so much. BUT the apartment just makes me miss them so very much. When we eat at Tamales I can see it just across the street and I feel melancholy but also a little happy as it makes me bring up all these memories of my grandparents.

My POINT, I guess, is that I was very aware of this year and this July being the 70th wedding anniversary of my grandparents and I am missing them a lot once more. I have been so lucky to have had them in my life for 33 years. I really, truly am lucky. They were wonderful, loving people. Strong and funny. Friendly. Big hearted. (Hart All Over as my grandfather, John Hart, would say).

They helped teach me what it means to love and be loved. They showed me what it takes to make a marriage and relationship work. They, along with my parents, helped mold me into the woman I am today and for that,  I shall forever be thankful.

Seventy years of love. You can't get much better than that.