Th1rteen R3asons Whyby Jay Asher

Clay Jensen returns home from school to find a mysterious box with his name on it lying on his porch. Inside he discovers cassette tapes recorded by Hannah Baker—his classmate and crush—who committed suicide two weeks earlier.On tape, Hannah explains that there are thirteen reasons why she decided to end her life. Clay is one of them. If he listens, he’ll find out how he made the list. (goodreads.com)

I am a little behind everyone else in reading this book. It's been one that has sat on my wishlist for ages but I never picked it up because of various reasons (mainly price when it was hard cover). Turns out my crappy library had it so I borrowed it and let it sit on my table for 4 weeks staring at me. I was nervous about reading it because it is about suicide and therefore I gathered an emotional roller coaster.The book was not nearly as gut-wrenchingly depressing as I thought it was going to be. In fact this book was almost a thriller-like story making you guess at who was on the next tape and what they did to Hannah to make her commit suicide.This was a powerful story that had me turning pages until my eyes just couldn't stay open anymore and then reading again as soon as I got up in the morning. I was on the edge of my seat waiting for Clay's name to crop up on the tapes and wondered what number he'd be and who else would she name.Having suffered from and treated for severe depression I know myself how hard it is to communicate with others about what's going on in your head. You might think you're giving them clues and so obviously drowning in front of them that you resent the fact that they don't notice and do not try to help and yet at the same time you turn away from those who really do try to help but you don't want it at the time.Many of the people on Hannah's tapes did do horrible things, but I felt that the 13th person, that counselor couldn't help her the way she wanted because SHE wasn't giving him the chance. SHE wasn't letting him know what was wrong and by vague suggestions he was doing his best. I don't think he didn't care and couldn't have helped more if she'd come out and said "I want to die". I don't think she was straight enough with him in her answers and to be honest I get the feeling she didn't want to be by that time. Had she spoken with him earlier maybe he'd have a better idea, but you can't get the fact that someone's about to kill themselves just from a 5 minute conversation.At the same time when you're that far gone and depressed you don't actually want to be saved.I have read some reviews of this book that stated they have no idea why Hannah killed herself and that the reasons she stated really weren't all that bad to deserve such a tragic ending. These people were not in her head at the time. The smallest thing can be the biggest thing to a teen, or anyone who is depressed about things. Obviously there was depression there and she wasn't just making the decision based on those 13 events, the catcher is that no one noticed how far she'd sunk since they were too busy focusing on rumors.Did Clay deserve to be on these tapes? In my opinion, no. In my opinion Hannah was beyond cruel to the one person who cared and that she cared about. Putting him on those tapes was just cruel and hurtful. He will forever live with the thought that he was part of the reason for her death. She didn't have to put him on those tapes just to explain. I hate her for doing that to what seemed like a really nice guy. The other jerks on the tapes, yes, they can live with the fact that their thoughtless and hurtful actions can actually matter to a person's life. But Clay? And the counselor? I don't see any justification for ruining their lives. In that sense I find Hannah's act selfish and cruel. She not only wanted to end her life but take people down with her.I have known people who have committed suicide. I do not think it is always a selfish act. Some people are just so lost inside that they honestly feel it is the only answer. The problem I have with Hannah is that she decided to take others with her that shouldn't have had any blame put on them.Hooo boy.. ok, enough of this! I feel like I am writing an essay on why this book works and why it doesn't! Goodness!Needless to say this powerful and moving novel touched me deeply and will stay with me for a while. It was fantastically written and an emotionally compelling story. I will be looking forward to more novels by Jay Asher, that's for sure!