I've been reading through my end-of-year posts and have noticed a pattern - most of the years have sucked. Normally I would have had a stellar 2009 and 2010 would have sucked, but 2009 was miserable and 2010 just continued that trend. Am I looking forward to 2011?I have no idea.To be honest, I am scared of what 2011 will bring.If my usual pattern held up, I'd have a lovely 2011 with good luck and happy times. But I don't know if that will happen.This is the first year that I have not suffered a loss of a family member in 3 years. 2007 saw the passing of my Aunt from cancer that she only had for a few months. 2008, the passing of my Grandfather at 96 years old who died of old age. 2009, the passing of my Grandmother who only stayed with us 10 months after her husband of 67 years left her. This year, there was no loss of a person in my family. Yes, I have suffered a different sort of loss, one that has actually affected us more than death of a loved one could. It's been tough and spirits are low, but through it all... I continued to Do Things.The first song I heard at the start of 2010 was, This Is The New Year by Ian Axel*. I happened to be awake and online at the turn of the years and on Twitter Ingrid Michaelson posted a link to the song's video. There was something about that song that just struck me. It is so hopeful and uplifting and it filled me with such joy that I made a decision. This is the year I will go out and Do Things. I will suck it up, socialize, be active, leave the house and Do Things. I will make 2010 my year, my New Year.I did Do Things, some were big (joined Highland Dancing!) some were smaller - went to friends's houses for dinner. But to me they were all things I normally do not do. I turn down invitations and don't go out after work. Here's a list of some of the Things I did Do.- went to see my first Opera in January (our School's production of The Rake's Progress)- went to see the Waterhouse exhibition at the Montreal Museum of Fine Arts- Stayed at Curves pretty religiously from January - May: would have stayed longer but their equipment is so poorly taken care of and the new staff they had were so pushy about buying other things, that I just stopped enjoying my workouts.- had laser eye surgery (although I am still on the fence about being happy about that)- went to cheer my friends on in their first Highland competition- JOINED Highland Dance in the fall and then had my first show in public. Don't know if I'll compete ever. Pondering.- went to see CATS at Place des Arts (even though we couldn't afford it)- drove more than I have in years...but only in the spring. That stopped once our road was dug up. Maybe 2011 will see me write "FINALLY GOT LICENCE!" but I doubt it. ;)- helped Shawn save a bird from our drain pipe. ;)- had our bank account hacked and money stolen TWICE. (Ok, so this wasn't a Doing Thing that I did really, but still, it's important and scary)- went to NYC by train, by myself to attend Book Expo America and roomed with two people I had never met in person. Those of you who know me and my panic attacks know how HUGE this  is for me. I came out of this with some of the best new friendships I could ever have asked for. Kristi and Erica are awesome people and I wish I could hang out with them in NYC again!-  I met/reconnected with my bestfriend from my childhood for the first time since 1984.. wow.- socialized. Yes, that seems lame, but I never do. I stay at home and become hermit-like. This year I did things with friends and forced myself to stay out past my bed time. Even if it's going to see my friend's boyfriend (now fiance) and his quintet/trio play Jazz gigs (which were amazing!) or going over for girly night dinner. I had fun, I laughed and I didn't turn into a pumpkin at 9PM.Nothing huge and flashy happened. There was no exciting trip to California as we had planned for our 5th anniversary due to other stupidity in our lives, but that will happen one year. I know it will.This year I challenged myself to come out of my shell a little and I did. I am proud of that. I am still continuing the Highland classes, which are the most intense and difficult things I have ever done. After 5 minutes I am sweating like I have never been before and I hurt, a lot. And yet it is so bloody fun.Despite the 7 months of suck we've been going through I have managed to find things that can take my mind of the stress and sadness and give me some pleasure. I read 120 books this year (hoping to finish one more today so I can put that at 121 and keep it in the odd numbers), I wrote a couple of songs (which I haven't done in YEARS), I made friendships that I hope last a long time, I danced in public, I sang back in the church choir for Advent and Christmas (and the concert).I lived life.Which is a rare and bizarre thing for me to do.Some things I will try to continue to do this coming year. To be honest, I would much rather dub 2011 as The Year I Spent In My Jammies Doing Nothing. But we'll see about that. ;)

Happy New Year, everyone!

*(I was happy to see that his album was being released on January 3rd and I bought it off iTunes and that entire album has pretty much been my soundtrack for the year!)