you're not there yet
Glasses raised we all say cheersCould this be the oneOur new year~ Tori Amos, Our New Year
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Every year I do this long year in review sort of post. I'm just not feeling it this year. I don't know why. Perhaps because 2009 was such a lousy year for so many people, in so many ways. I'm not being a Negative Nelly on purpose, I just know what has happened in the lives of the people I love and care about. At work alone, 3 people have left their spouses, and I just found out about a fourth right before Christmas. Only that person isn't in my office, though I did used to work closely with them before they changed jobs. These are not people who have only been married a handful of years. They are in the 20 or 30 years together range. I find that scary and sad.Then there are the number of people who have had someone close to them die this year (including my grandmother). I know people die every year, but this year seemed way more obvious. And so many people died who shouldn't have and out of the blue. Just in December alone the number of deaths, unexpected and of the young (in their 20s) was mind-blowing.What the heck was up with 2009? No one seems happy this year. Everyone is tired, and overwhelmed and seems to be suffering so much. 2009 was supposed to be a GOOD year for me if it stuck to the pattern. For almost the entire decade I have had horrible luck in even numbered years (2000, 2002, 2004, 2006, 2008) and the odd years I have done much better.Until now. Until 2009.I don't believe that hooha about the world ending on 12-12-12, but after this year I really feel like it's a sign or something that things are going downhill. Down to where? I haven't a clue. But I am hoping that 2010, a new year and the beginning of a new decade will pick things up a little. Maybe give people some breaks. A vacation from all the death, illness and sadness that 2009 has thrown at them.I have lost people I have loved in this decade. I have lost friendships I once held dear in this decade. I have gained the love of Shawn and the love of some of the best friends I have ever had in this decade.Because of the losses I tend to appreciate the gains so much more. The friends I have in my life now mean the world to me. These are people I would never had met had I not made the choices I made in the last 10 years. Even with the bad, obviously the choices I made were good for I am so lucky right now to have the friends I do. Whether they be in person, at work, or online.I have a house. I have a husband whom I love completely who returns that love completely. I have two wonderful, if not sometimes frustrating, dogs who make me smile every morning (even if they've puked on the carpet). I have a job (which these days is something to be VERY thankful for), and I have the best coworkers I have EVER had in my life. I also have the best bosses I have ever had in my life. So much so that I know when my big boss' term is up and he leaves, I am going to feel horrible. I am trying to pretend that day isn't just around the corner because the 3 of us? We make a good team.This decade I have had surgery twice, been robbed, been burned out of my home, been double crossed by a stupid landlord after rebuilding the home, been broken hearted, have made friends, lost friends have been deathly ill and mentally ill. So much has happened. And I have survived it all even when I didn't think I could.I don't give much of a hoot about New Years Eve and whatnot. For one, staying up until midnight has never been fun in my books no matter how old I am. But at the same time, I truly feel like September/Fall is the start of my new year. Maybe because even though it has been years since I have been IN school, I still work in an educational institution, I don't know. But the end of August and start of September always feels like my metamorphosis time. That's when I tend to start new things, make changes.And, well, heck. This has turned out to be long again. Oops. Anyway, my point is, I am looking forward to 2010, not only because I find writing out 2010 by hand aesthetically pleasing (I'm weird, I know) but because I am curious to see if the next decade is going to have a better track record than this first one of the 2000s.Also, and mostly, because it's even closer to my birthday now. Woohoo! Let the countdown begin!!
Happy New Year, everyone!